Well the moon was full
and the stars were bright
and I'd driven so far I could tell
That I needed to rest when over the hill came the lights of the Grand Hotel.
So I parked my car and took my bags to the desk and then I rang the bell
and a voice said 'So you've come to spend a night at the Grand Hotel'

Chorus
If you ever spend a night at the Grand Hotel
You're better off spending a night in hell
Thats a story you'll be lucky if you live to tell
The night you spend on the Grand Hotel

My room was damp and dark and cold
and the air had a terrible smell,
when the dinner gong rang
in the lobby below
for the guest at the Grand Hotel.
The guest all filed into that room
as if they were under a spell
the bread was stale, the soup was pale
my pudding was cold as well

Chorus
If you ever spend a night at the Grand Hotel
You're better off spending a night in hell
Thats a story you'll be lucky if you live to tell
The night you spend on the Grand Hotel

Back in my room
in my bed in the gloom
fast asleep I fell
when a terrible scream
rang through the night
and shook that Grand Hotel
Smoke came pouring through that door
with an awful burning smell
In an empty room I fought through the flames
alone in the Grand Hotel

Chorus
If you ever spend a night at the Grand Hotel
You're better off spending a night in hell
Thats a story you'll be lucky if you live to tell
The night you spend on the Grand Hotel

*well the xxxx disappeared
*though where I could not tell
I reached the door as my thonge
like a wind through the Grand Hotel
well I must have ran a mile or more
to find someone to tell
a cottage window spilled out light
and on it's door I fell

Chorus
If you ever spend a night at the Grand Hotel
You're better off spending a night in hell
Thats a story you'll be lucky if you live to tell
The night you spend on the Grand Hotel

An old man came and led me in my awfull fears to quell
I told him of the night I spend
at the burning of the Grand Hotel
His face went white, his hands went cold.
'Nay nay not the Grand Hotel, it burned down twenty years ago, it's just a ruined shell'

If you ever spend a night at the Grand Hotel
You're better off spending a night in hell
Thats a story you'll be lucky if you live to tell
The night you spend on the Grand Hotel